Today I was thinking about the possibilities of demons again, but Sandy reminded me that I shouldn’t start believing in demons if I haven’t already been believing in them. This is very true, and although this has always been my take on reality - that what you believe in is what reality becomes, and that there is no objective “truth” - it is nonetheless still difficult to appreciate at times after being conditioned (somehow? by what?) to believe certain things about reality for so long.
Well, for some reason I have been conditioned to have faith in the idea that people who I observe outside of my consciousness also have consciousness despite the complete lack of direct evidence. Why is this so? Why was I not conditioned to believe from the very beginning that no one else had a consciousness, and that my mind was the only thing that has ever existed - in which case, the former would seem extremely absurd (in contrast to the absurdity currently perceived in the latter).
Well, for one thing, I have constantly been approaching these thoughts in a “trying to figure out” kind of way, which is ironic because the act of “figuring out” pre-supposes that there is an objective truth without the necessity of one. I haven’t really stopped to suppose that the universe and reality may be a “morphing” thing, that is, it changes instantaneously with whatever I happen to come to believe at the moment.
I’ve run into this thought before, at which point, terrified to be “God”, I stopped, but it seems to make a lot of sense as I think about it now, even though it may not be the most “ideal” and/or “comforting” possibility, but those things are arbitrarily emotional anyways, so I should disregard. But that thought I have is this: For every instant that I believe or have ever believed that people outside of my mind actually exist (i.e., they have their own conscious minds), then they do. But as soon as I go back to supposing that they don’t exist, then they don’t. And the universe is basically only this weird ever changing thing that morphs into whatever I believe at the moment, because beliefs are not consistent all the time, and neither is reality. That is what is implied by the belief that “reality becomes whatever I come to believe” - it is a time dependent belief in the sense that my beliefs change with time.
And as you see, this belief clearly only seems to make sense in a very circular way, because that belief cannot always be true, otherwise it would constitute as an “objective truth” which violates its own statement. So that belief must not always be true, but only when the perceiver perceives that belief to be “true” but again true in a time dependent sense, or rather, a belief/consciousness dependent sense - that truths, just like realities, universes, and consciousnesses are amorphous and self-dependent in a circular way. This does not exclude the possibility of other realities, universes, and consciousnesses existing independently with different principles outside of any given reality, universe, or consciousness, but it also doesn’t prove it.
Hmm… I think this bemused euphoric sensation that I derive from running into more and more questions and questions and answerless questions about reality is what “people” would generally call “trippy”. Why does it have to be a drug-related sensation (not that there is anything wrong with drugs)? Shouldn’t this be a pretty regularly experienced normal feeling that people get on a day-to-day basis if they’re at all capable of thought? I don’t understand how people could just ignore these things and “live”, but I guess that’s an irrelevant question because at the moment I don’t believe that any of them really exist.
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